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  • KHK

One of my tests

Updated: Apr 14, 2022

One of the ways I have been tested is centred around the fact of Allah being behind a veil. As we know from the Quran, regarding us, Allah communicates and is behind a veil, and the reasoning for this is thought to be because of His magnificence and might, considering His abilities, capabilities and His general being and state of existence being so superior to ours that it does not befit Him to communicate with His followers except behind a veil.

Back to my point - I have been tested with inspirations and realisations, some of them being untruthful and some, truthful - some, incredible and beautiful and some, repulsive and disturbing. I’m trying to find a straight path that is only goodness and nothing evil, but the thought strikes me that that’s not the intended goal - but that’s a lengthy topic for another post.

The point then - I worry that those who see the results of untruthful events - will they judge and assume that that is who I am as a person, or will they look further and put it on the back burner as one of my flaws but that I have many positives and truthful gifts from Allah that I intend to use for the betterment of myself and those around me. Perhaps Allah is testing me with this because it’s a flaw I have - judging people based on how they appear to me and not giving them the very same leeway that I am now in need of.

The reason I started this post with the reality of Allah being behind a veil is some of the inspirations and realisations that occur in my life are linked to Him - but the manner and truth (or Haqq) of them are so irresistible in the sense that I am powerless against them - and I conclude that event (a) is in fact from Allah as there is no other explanation but event (a) can also be something so vile that reason, logic and even emotion screams at me that this cannot be from Him ( and we know from the Quran and Sunnah that all good is from Allah, and all evil is from our own hands). Perhaps it is my fault, so I request your duas for forgiveness and to be increased in guidance.

It does however, remind me of Ibrahim AS being asked to commit the murder of his son for the sake of Allah, and Allah at the last second showering Ibrahim and Ismail with His mercy and not permitting the sacrifice to go ahead. I am not creating these events, I am merely a participant and I will have to remain firmly in the camp of Allah, waiting for His infinite mercy to encompass me from all around.

May Allah have mercy on us all, and increase us in guidance.

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